What Does It Mean for a Christian to Grow Up?

Growing up is no little deal. As children make the transition to adolescence, as adolescents make the transition to adults, and as graduations send kids out of the home to colleges, universities, training programs, and places of work, the question of what it means to grow up becomes a pressing one. Particularly, we might ask: What would it mean to grow up as a Christian?

Paul offers us an answer to this question in Ephesians 4:11–16. If we are not merely to grow into physical, emotional, and social maturity but also into spiritual maturity, there are resources to take hold of, a model to follow, and responsibilities to take up.

The Resources to Take Hold Of

Maturity means, in one sense, that we no longer act like children. Children wobble. They totter around the place, setting their parents’ hair on end: “Don’t go there! Hang on! Don’t do that!” They are easily distracted, always responding to what is most immediately appealing.

Paul says that God gives preachers and teachers to His people “so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes” (v. 14). In other words, as we grow up, instead of being wobbly, we ought to be marked by doctrinal stability.  We need feet that stand firmly on solid ground.

So many people never stop being children. They are forever changing their minds about what they believe, like the man in the song by the Kinks: “One week he’s in polka dots, the next week he’s in stripes, ’cause he’s a dedicated follower of fashion.”¹ You meet them one Sunday, and they seem to be on track, but then they read another book or attend another seminar, and they’re off on another side track, because they’ve never actually been grounded in the Scriptures.

The stabilizing influence in a Christian’s life is the ongoing, persistent, faithful exposition of Scripture rightly understood and applied. It’s God’s Word being taught, believed, meditated on, and acted on that saves us from the immaturity that simply follows the next cultural or theological trends. This, indeed, is why God “gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers” (v. 11): so that they might equip the saints and help them to grow up into Christ.

As we grow up, instead of being wobbly, we ought to be marked by doctrinal stability.

A Model to Follow

This is the second thing to notice in the passage: Maturity has mold. We are to be cast in the image of Jesus when we “grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ” (v. 15). We are, in other words, to attain “the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (v. 13).

The center, the object, the goal of the church is found in its union with Christ. United with Christ, we’re brought into union with one another. To grow up is to grow in Christlikeness, becoming increasingly marked by the characteristics of the Lord Jesus.  And the process that’s involved is “speaking the truth in love” (v. 15).

That is a familiar phrase. Ironically, it is most often used as a justification for an immature comment, excusing overly frank personal criticism as biblical. In fact, the “truth” referred to isn’t just any old true statement; is the truth of the Gospel, which is needed to counter the waves and winds of doctrine that toss the immature to and fro. To be a loving teacher, we might say, means to represent God’s truth faithfully.

To grow up is to grow in Christlikeness, becoming increasingly marked by the characteristics of the Lord Jesus.

There is a way to proclaim the Gospel that is not in love. Some people live for a fight, and they will nail you down on every little point of doctrine you have never heard of. Yet at the opposite extreme is the “loving” group who won’t venture to offend by being certain about anything. Truth becomes hard if it’s not softened by love, and love becomes soft if it’s not strengthened by truth. As we grow up into Christ, we need both to help us.

Doing Our Part Properly

Finally, when we are no longer wobbly children but are instead growing up into Christ, we will begin to do our part properly. In Christ, “the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love” (v. 16).

In other words, each part of the body, in its own particular God-ordained way, exists to help the other parts. And it is from the head that the harmonious functioning of a body takes place. The harmony of Christ’s body is under His headship, held together by all of the joints that He has graciously provided. 

The effective functioning of the body of Christ needs all the moving parts to be united in Gospel ministry. The church is not a clubhouse in which we sit back and relax. It is a joint venture in which we all put in labors to see Christ’s name exalted at home and among the nations. Maturity comes with responsibilities—and having grown up into Christ, it will be our responsibility to help the body grow.

The harmony of Christ’s body is under His headship, held together by all of the joints that He has graciously provided.

Show Up, Grow Up, Step Up

We might put the task before young people today simply: Show up, grow up, and step up. If you want to grow into spiritual maturity, make sure you show up when the Word of God is preached, when the people of God gather, when the sacraments are celebrated, and when the opportunity to invite friends and neighbors is there for you. Along the way, don’t forsake a regular nourishing diet of God’s Word. With that you will grow up—not just into anything but into Christ. And then it will be your responsibility to step up— to take your place, nourished by the Word of God, equipped and enabled.

The online church can’t do any of this. So many today want to create a highly privatized understanding of the Christian faith for themselves, with no involvement, no opportunity for service, no accountability, and no pastoral care. That is not maturity! But when the people of God take seriously the need to grow up together into Christ, we will be able to say that we’re paying attention to the Bible as we have it and that we have every reason to believe that God will honor His Word and use us as He sees fit.

This article was adapted from the sermon “Time to Grow Up” by Alistair Begg.